


Shingaling

by LWF



Series: Family First [4]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Again, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Vanya needs a hug, as only the hargreeves can, but he does anyway, delores likes to judge, diego wants to be a better brother, five is too old to do feelings, five needs a whole decade of sleep, grace to the rescue, hurt five, they bond while getting rid of a dead body, to vanya and to five, unfriendly coppers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-23 18:12:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18155303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LWF/pseuds/LWF
Summary: The distracted siblings realize there are still some lose ends to tie up.One of those includes Harold Jenkins' rotting corpse.Five recruits Vanya and Diego to help get rid of any evidence.





	1. Pigs

“Didn’t mom say you should still be resting?” Diego crosses his arms over his chest, one brow arched. 

Five waves him off. “I’m fine. Plus, that’s why you’re here. To do all the heavy lifting  _ for _ me.” 

Diego clicks his tongue. “Oh right, and here I thought we were all catching up on some good old family quality time.” 

“Yeah yeah, later, grab the duffels out of the trunk.” 

Vanya carries two of the duffels, while Diego insists on carrying the other four, even though Five volunteers to hold one himself. 

They park the car far enough away that they have to walk almost six blocks before they make it to Harold’s house. It’s the middle of night, so they try their best not to make any noise as they make their way inside. 

Five assesses the scene for a moment. It’s about what he’d been expecting. A long and messy cleanup, but not impossible. 

“Ok, Vanya, the shoe covers should be in your bag, everybody put on a pair, and the latex gloves. A mask, too.” he adds when the stench of Harolds’ decaying body hits him fully. 

Thankfully the house right next to Harold’s home isn’t occupied, and the other neighbors are too far apart to report any strange smell, like say, an eight day old rotting corpse, to the police. 

Five instructs his two siblings on what to do and they get to work, removing any trace of Vanya (or the rest of them, for that matter) from the entire house, attic included. Needless to say, they bring a lot of bleach. 

While Vanya and Diego work on getting rid of the tarnished Umbrella Academy memorabilia upstairs Five works on getting all the sharp objects out of Harolds’ chest to wash and dry later. He shoves all of it in the sink in the meantime. One by one he efficiently removes Harold's teeth with pliers he brought from home and then works on burning his finger prints and getting rid of any personal effects on his body. 

He hears a faint gasp from behind him and turns to see Vanya looking a little green. 

Five makes a face. He’d been hoping he’d be done with this part of the process before she and Diego got finished with attic duty. “Might wanna’ look away for this next part…” 

Vanya’s eyes veer towards the thing that looks like a chainsaw laying next to Five on the floor. “Are you…?” she sounds numb. 

“It’s easier this way.” he explains, though it doesn’t make the fact that he’s gotta use the medical bone-saw to literally cut the mans body up into pieces small enough to fit inside the duffel bags, any better. 

Diego grabs a chair and says, “Here, sit for a minute.” 

Five’s about to tell him that’s not the best idea, since they  _ are _ here in order to get rid of all physical evidence, after all, but the look his brother gives him manages to shut him up for once. 

Vanya takes a seat, eyes never leaving the saw next to her--god, what had he been to her? A boyfriend maybe? Someone she had trusted, someone who had made her feel special for the first time maybe ever, in her whole life? Someone who had betrayed her horribly, manipulated her from the very beginning. 

“How could I have been so  _ stupid _ ?” she utters into the sudden silence of the room. 

Diego had listened to Allison go on and on about Vanya’s new friend, about how hard and how quickly his little sister had fallen for the guy; it makes him want to bring the sonofabitch back to life and use him as a pin cushion all over again. “It’s not your fault, you had no way of knowing.” he defends fiercely. 

“Well, the photos of all of us with our eyes gouged out were kind of a clue.” Five says thoughtlessly, already picking up the bone-saw. They’ve only got a few hours before they need to hit the road. 

“Dude!” Diego half-shouts. 

Five cringes. He hadn’t meant to say that aloud. 

To both of their surprise, Vanya snorts and starts laughing. “I can’t believe I killed him.” Just as suddenly the laughter gives way to tears. “I killed him.” she cries. 

Diego gives Five another look. One that says ‘look what you did!’. He has no idea how to fix this. He’s not great at dealing with his own emotions, much less someone else’s. 

Five is just as lost in that department. He drops the saw and walks over to Vanya tentatively. “If it makes you feel any better I’ve killed my fair share of people?” 

Vanya actually stops crying at that and just stares at her brother for a long drawn out moment. “I--a little bit.” she wipes her eyes with the sleeve of her hoody and sniffles. “He was so kind to me at first. I think I saw some of the signs, but decided to ignore them on purpose.” she confesses. “I’ve never been treated the way he treated me. It was nice. Really nice.” she sighs. 

Diego feels like the shittiest brother in the whole wide world. As a child he’d been too naive to realize that the way Reginald made them treat Vanya was cruel. 

But eventually he’d grown older and moved out of the house and then even without their father there to encourage the behavior and antagonize them, he’d continued it all on his own. 

Especially after that book had been published. He’d felt betrayed, all of his secrets for everyone to see and mock, so exposed out there in the public eye. 

He shouldn’t have been so selfish. He’d perused parts of her book, only looking for whatever passages mentioned him by name, choosing to skim past the pages filled with the hurt she’d been hiding for so many years, the loneliness and rejection which had consumed her their entire childhoods, and even now. 

“I love you.” 

Vanya and Five stare at Diego with twin looks of befuddlement. 

“What?” Vanya asks, as though she can’t believe what she just heard. And that makes it all the more heartbreaking. 

Diego repeats himself, louder this time, conviction in his tone. “I love you Vanya. You’re my sister and I’ve been a complete asswipe to you for...forever.” 

Vanya swallows hard. It had been hard hearing Allison say those words to her not too long ago. She’s been hoping to hear those words for years and years and it almost seems like an April fools prank now. But she wants so badly to believe them. 

“I love you too.” she says, throat thick. “Both of you.” she looks at Five too. 

Five scratches the back of his head awkwardly and nods but doesn’t say anything. He feels itchy all over. “We need to keep going.” he coughs, motioning towards the rest of the house. 

Vanya smiles and stands. “OK, what next?” 

Diego moves to stand next to her, their shoulders touching. “Yeah boss, ready for our orders.” he salutes, winking at Vanya, whose smile widens. 

  
  


Hours later Five is at the wheel of the van, Delores riding shotgun. Somewhere a few towns away are happy, well fed pigs. He’d thought about going the acid route to get rid of the body, but it was hard to get rid of the slime and goop afterwards. 

Pigs was easier. 

He looks in his rear view mirror and can’t help the crooked little smile on his face when he sees Vanya and Diego asleep in the backseat. Vanya’s head is tucked neatly between Diego’s shoulder and neck, with his head resting atop hers. 

Five looks to his passenger seat at Delores and clears his throat, embarrassed. “Shaddup.” 

He hates to wake either of them up, but they’ve still got hours left on their trip back home and Five can feel his own eyelids growing heavier and heavier as the sun rises above the horizon behind them. 

He pulls the car over and puts it into park. He takes Delores out of the front seat with him and knocks on the window of the car, startling the pair awake. “Wakey wakey kids.” he nods at a groggy Diego. “My shift’s up.” he announces. 

“Mmm,” Diego squeezes Vanyas shoulder on his way out of the car and makes his way up into the driver's seat. 

Vanya yawns and sits up straighter. She scoots to make room for Five and Delores. “How’s your side?” she asks, concerned when he can’t quite hide a wince as he sits down. 

“And don’t lie.” Diego warns from the front. 

Five rolls his eyes in exasperation. “I’m fine.” it’s like a mantra at this point. He’s sore but it’s nothing he can’t handle. 

Vanya scoots over some more and pats her lap. “Lie down?” she offers. 

Five has to bite back his usual snarky retort. “I’m good.” he does lean back in his seat though, one arm looping around Delores. He has more trouble sleeping than he’d like to admit, when she’s not there beside him. His eyes drift shut slowly and he’s asleep only minutes later. 

Of course it's then that he hears the sirens behind them. 

"Ah, fuck." Diego curses.


	2. Do or Die

Diego’s been in a holding cell twice now in the last two weeks. 

Two for two. Yay.

Thanks to Five, he’s been cleared of the murder charges back home; though that’s not the way the state trooper sees it when they’re all arrested in the middle of the highway. 

“Do you know why you’re being pulled over, sir?” the way he says ‘sir’ is almost disrespectful, but maybe he’s just imagining things. 

Diego’s already got his license out. He smiles as politely as he can. “No.” he replies, knowing if he says anything else he’s helping incriminate himself. 

“You were speeding.” the trooper informs him, taking the identification card from his hand to inspect. He tells them to stay there and takes his sweet time headed back to his car. 

Vanya lets out a huge breath. “Does he know?!” she whispers in a panic. 

Five purses his lips. “Alright, we all need to stay calm. There’s no way in hell he knows squat. He’s trying to fill a quota; we were going maybe five miles above the speed limit on an empty highway in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. He’s gonna’ give us a ticket and then we’ll be on our merry way. So nobody argue and nobody freak out, got it?” 

Vanya nods beside him, willing herself to relax, though it’s easier said than done.

It takes a few minutes before they see the trooper, and now his partner, walking back towards them. 

Diego mutters. “He’s got his partner with him now, that’s not good.” 

“Ran your license through our system. Says you were arrested on murder charges what was it, Tom, last week?” the trooper turns to his partner. 

Diego clears his throat. “I was cleared of those charges. They found the guy responsible.” 

“Uh huh.” the trooper clicks his tongue. “We’re gonna’ need you all to step out of the vehicle, hands up.” 

Diego arches a brow. “What for, I told you already, those were bogus charges.” 

“Listen here  _ boy _ ,” the troopers partner says, one hand already going to his holster. “My partner told y'all to exit the car, so I’d start listening if I were you.” 

Diego grinds his teeth but one look at Five’s impatient face in the backseat gets him to stop arguing and comply. 

All three siblings slowly get out of the car. 

“Hands up!” the trooper orders, when Five’s hands only reach his shoulders. 

“He’s just had surgery, he can’t!” Vanya says, seeing the way Five grimaces when he tries to raise his arms higher. 

The troopers ignore her as they begin to search and frisk them. 

Five inhales sharply when one of the troopers--Tom?--pats his side none too gently, and Diego yells “Hey watch it, he’s hurt!” 

The trooper doesn’t pay him any mind either, continuing his search just as roughly as before. 

They don’t find anything worth a damn but have all three lean against the car on their stomachs, hands behind their backs, regardless. It only takes the two troopers a few seconds of convenning before the decision to arrest the trio is made. 

“On what grounds?!” Five questions, as they handcuff him without an explanation. 

Again, the troopers ignore the lot of them, and instead escort them to the cop car, where they’re shoved inside forcibly. 

They turn the radio up higher as they start the car in order to drown out the complaints from their detainees in the back. 

Vanya bites her lip nervously. “Is this even legal?” 

Diego shakes his head. “Pretty sure they’re just being  _ ASSHOLES _ !” 

“Don’t make this worse than it is!” Five whispers. “Though you’re not wrong. I have no idea what the hell their problem is. But it doesn’t matter. As soon as we reach the station and they let us near a phone we should call Pogo. He can send mom to come get us.”

“What if we get charged for something?” Vanya asks, forehead furrowing in worry. 

“There’s  _ nothing _ to charge us with; the car’s clean and so are we, all we have to do is keep our mouths shut and try not to antagonize them anymore than apparently we already have.” 

 

They’re split into two holding cells. The only good thing about it being that the cells are right next to one another, so they don’t lose sight of Vanya when they’re split up. 

Vanya’s alone in her cell, but in the cell for males Diego and Five are forced to share theirs with a very drunk homeless man spewing, ironically enough, about the end of times. 

“Hey look, it’s older you.” Diego teases. 

Five is not impressed. 

 

After a while one of the troopers swaggers over to the cells and whistles, like he’s calling for a dog. “Kid, what’s your name?” 

Five frowns. “Why are we being detained? We didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“Not what I asked, short stuff.” 

Five sits down on the bench and leans back. “I’m not answering any questions without an attorney present, and for that matter, neither are my traveling companions over here.” he motions towards Vanya and Diego. “Oh and fun fact, I am still a minor, so if you knew anything about the law, you would know you shouldn’t even be talking to me without a legal guardian present in the room.” he smiles sweetly. “Now go get me access to a phone.” 

The trooper stumbles, at a loss for what to say. “Uh, I don’t--I mean...” he pauses and then promptly leaves the area without another word. 

Vanya blinks at Five. “You’re my favorite.” 

Diego makes an indignant noise. 

Vanya only shrugs in response. 

 

It takes roughly two more hours for the towns deputy to see them. He’s an older man with a long handlebar mustache and a potruding beer belly. 

“What do we have here?” 

Five has already instructed both siblings not to say a word and only silence greets the deputy. 

He snorts when they don’t say anything. He looks Diego up and down with open disdain and then at Vanya. “Now what’s a pretty little thing like you doing hanging around with this no-good chicano gang-banger, darlin’?” 

Vanya opens her mouth to defend Diego but Five beats her to it. 

“What the hell did you just call him?” he tilts his head expectantly. 

The deputy doesn’t pay him any mind but decides to move on. “Y'all are in quite a pickle, you know. Driving way over the speed limit, belligerent behavior towards my men, resisting arrest--” 

“We haven’t done anything!” Vanya shouts. “You’re grasping at straws, this would never hold up in court.” 

“We’ll see about that, lil’ lady.” the deputy leaves then, without bothering to offer them their one phone call. 

“Fuck me.” Diego sits down on the bench in defeat. “We’re gonna end up staying here all weekend ‘cause of these racist assholes.” 

It’s Friday now, and soon enough even if they call Grace, she won’t be able to get here in time to bail them out; that’s even if they manage to get a bail hearing, the way these jerks have been going about it. 

Vanya manages to get her skinny little arm to go halfway through the bars and places a hand over his. “We’ll figure a way out of this.” 

Diego squeezes her hand through the bars. 

Five in the meanwhile has been looking for the telltale sign of security cameras and noting their locations. They’re in a very hick town, if the police force is any indication, so he’s not surprised to see that their system is dated. “Only one of those cameras works.” he points out. 

Diego looks at him. “We can’t exactly just pick the lock and bounce...I mean, I probably  _ could _ , but I’ve already got one arrest on my record so--” 

Five shakes his head. “It’s over there, in that corner, the angle is off. It’s facing the door. All you have to do is keep anyone who comes in to check up on us distracted for like, fifteen minutes, tops. I’ll go and get mom, drop her off at the front door, and get back here before they can figure out I’m gone.” 

Vanya frowns. “You’re still injured, I don’t think that’s the best idea.” 

“I’m  _ fine _ . Look, these guys aren’t gonna’ let us go anytime soon. They haven’t even bothered starting the processing procedure and it’s been hours. 

“This place is literally deserted. They’ve got nothing better to do than to fuck with us. I’m not letting the two of you stay here any longer than we have to.” and with that, he disappears before either can argue with him. 

 

Five lands on the kitchen table roughly, scaring the living crap out of everyone. It’s a miscalculation. He’d meant to appear in his room.

But he’s so tired. The troopers had arrested them the moment he’d finally gotten his turn to sleep, so he’s running on fumes. 

“Five?!” Klaus exclaims. “What the hell?” 

Five sits up, wincing. “We got arrested. I need mom to bail us out, where is she?” 

Allison shakes off her stupor and runs off to get Grace. 

Luther’s in the kitchen too, and he looks as alarmed as his other siblings. “Who’s ‘we’? And why did you get arrested? What on earth is going on?” 

Five rolls his eyes, sliding his butt off the table. “I don’t have time to explain, they’re gonna’ notice I’m gone soon, if they haven’t already.” 

Grace walks in, “Oh my.” she looks displeased at the state of disarray of not just the kitchen, but her child. 

“I need you to get your fake ID and dad’s checkbook.” 

Allison hands Grace her purse, giving Five a thumbs up. ‘Go.’ she mouths. 

“I’m going too.” Luther states. 

Five doesn’t have time to waste and instead takes Luther and Grace by the shoulders and works his hardest on transporting the three of them outside the jailhouse. 

He didn’t say anything before, but he’s never actually tried jumping with anyone else besides Delores, and isn’t sure how his first attempt will go. 

 

It works. 

Five breathes a sigh of relief but can’t relax just yet. “Vanya and Diego are in there with me, go lawyer mode on their asses and get us the hell out of this town.” he looks Grace right in the eye, face serious. “Got it?” 

Grace smiles. “Understood. I will see you inside.” 

Five jumps again, this time he lands in Vanya’s cell, instead of Diego’s though, and can’t help the whine that escapes him. Everything hurts. 

Vanya sits up, surprised. “What are you--” 

He jumps again before she can finish her question and reappears inside the other cell without anymore hiccups. “Thank God.” he drops to the dirty floor of the holding cell in exhaustion. 

“What the hell was that, numbnuts?” Diego looks pissed. “You can’t just go off all half-cocked by yourself like that anymore! At least not without talking to us first. You’re such an ass!” 

Five doesn’t disagree. But he doesn’t see how they could have gone any other way about it. “We don’t have time for a whole group chat, it’s do or--” 

“Do or die? Is that what you were about to say? Because yeah, this situation we’re in? Sucks. Hard. But we won’t die if they leave us in here for a couple of more days. You’re not in the apocalypse anymore, not everything is this huge fight for survival, idiot.” 

Five must be more tired than he previously thought, because Diego’s starting to make sense to him. Instead of admitting that, Five stands and turns around so that he’s no longer facing him. It’s petulant and childish but he doesn't care. 

He works through a dizzy spell and manages to stumble onto a bench in the cell, where he ignores Vanya’s concerned gaze. He feels like shit. 

Diego mutters something under his breath but doesn’t push it any further, deciding instead to sit next to his brother and wait. “So mom’s here?” 

Fives nods. “Luther too. Insisted on tagging along and I didn’t feel like talking him out of it.” 

Vanya, much as she isn’t keen on seeing Number One, is hopeful that having him here will convince the troopers to let them go without much trouble. The man is pure bulk and nothing if not persistent. 

A part of her is terrified that he’ll only fight on Diego and Five’s behalf and try to keep Vanya locked up again. He has her right where he wants her, technically. 

“Hey,” Diego taps the bars to get her attention. “Don’t worry, we’re getting outta’ here soon, sis.” 

Vanya smiles a little. 

She’s got Diego and Five with her. They’re together. 

She’ll be ok. 


End file.
